a snapshot.

i can now say i have something in common with all those wackadoo middle-east dictators.

i've been ousted from power by rebels.

tiny boob-munching, mess-making, laundry-generating rebels.

i am outnumbered three-to-one.
well, there is that one husband person i'm married to who occasionally makes an appearance
you know to eat, shower and sleep.
ahhhh....sleep. what would that be like?
but i digress.

it's pretty much me against them.

and unlike charlie sheen, i'm not winning.

yesterday, i had to take tiny to her two week checkup and naturally the mere thought
of going anywhere with three crazy midgets in tow is enough to make my heart race.

thankfully, a couple of quick text messages and i managed to pawn off the older two.
{thank you steph and michelle}

the rest of my day is a bit fuzzy.

there was the part where tiny is down to 5 lbs. 15 oz. which, clearly, is not ideal.

and the part where i picked up thing two and he was wearing 
his friends' dinosaur underwear and blue shorts.
his mother handed me an albertson's grocery bag with his pee-soaked shorts and underwear.


hold on, it gets way better.

thing two put on his rubber rain boots {it wasn't raining} and bike helmet to compliment his already hodge-podge outfit and rode around the neighborhood on his bike, completely unattended.

then he painted on thing one's rainbow masterpiece which caused a major uproar.

then it was dinner time.

yeah right.

enter me opening the freezer and hoping there is something edible to feed my family.

still no husband, mind you.

found some frozen chicken noodle soup...jackpot!
{thank you suzanne for making us an extra large batch}

fed kids.
fed tiny {ouch}.

took a lortab.

fed myself.

put stinky kids in jetted tub with bubbles and left the room.

big mistake.


thirty minutes later i hear thing two crying and saying, 
"i slipped"

i come in holding a very mad tiny, attempting to keep her binky in her mouth with one hand
and discover bubbles about two feet higher than the top of the tub and 
thing two covered in bubbles lying on the floor next to the toilet.

upon closer inspection, there is poop smeared all over the toilet seat and on his behind.
apparently, he slipped off the throne while taking care of business due to the excessive bubbles and moisture.


i could stop here if you've had enough.
because heaven knows i have.

but there was still poop, bubbles, dishes, dirty clothes, backpacks, homework, unwashed hair and a crying infant that still needed attention.

can moms have tantrums?

i wanted to throw one right then and there and just let the three midgets fend for themselves.

but, i got myself into this mess by giving life to the little knuckle-heads, so i suppose that makes me responsible to make sure they stay alive.


somehow, everyone made it to bed in one piece.
and i got a super restful three hours of sleep...

so, that pretty much covers it.

a snapshot of my life at the moment.

and the craziest part is, i wouldn't change a thing.

i love those three midgets...

poop, rain boots, bubbles and all.

but, if you think for one second i wouldn't hire a nanny and a personal chef if given the opportunity...

you got another thing coming!


Natalie said...

oh, jill... i can so relate right now. i was telling kevin last night that living on little sleep and having other toddlers underfoot (and making mischief)while trying to meet all of the needs of a newborn adds up to emotional trauma. Like you, I wouldn't change a thing. But that doesn't mean its not really crazy difficult sometimes. Love the honesty of this post. Good luck, I'm right there with you!

lynette said...

so true! i laughed my way through your post because, well, i've been there. welcome to the club--it's called insanity.

Candace said...

Jill, you make me smile. Not because of your rotten day but because you are so positive in the end. I just love ya and hope you know that I'm only a text away when you have another night like that :)

Heidi and Judd said...

Thanks fot the laugh! Makes me think twice if I want a #3!

Hil said...

Oh my goodness I had an anxiety attack just reading this post. First... I hope tiny gets up in weight for you! Those first few weeks/months figuring out feeding and sleep schedules are SO hard... and to throw in a toddler and child on top of that has got to be nearly impossible. You are so good to end so positively... but I know in the quiet moments there are tears that are shed. I was JUST THERE... only I just have the two. It WILL get better, you will have less crazy days. But until then I will be praying for you!!

Take some time for yourself and go to Krave tonight.. I'm sure your hubs can manage for an hour or two! :)

Brooke said...

It's funny how that unconditional love thing comes into play, even on the worst of days! I remember shortly after bringing home my #3, having a dream (not a nightmare mind you, but a DREAM) that I had an Inspector Gadget hand that came out of my side for moments like you just told about. As we all know they all grow up and it happens all too quickly. Good luck with your sleeping. Hope you get to enjoy more of it in the upcoming months and years! ;) You've got this lady! Wanna know I I know? It's because you have the guts to post about your off days and I'm sure crack a little bit of a smile while doing it. xoxo

Diane N. said...

Yikes! Chaos is not your 'thing,' nor mine, so I do really feel for you. Plus the no-sleep thing doesn't help either. Your day does sound like a crazy-making nightmare...but truth be told, I laughed a little as I read it:) You managed to put a funny spin on the whole thing!
Remember, insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids:)
xo Mom

Mrs. Hashimoto said...

oh jill,

that sounds like a very terrible day. if you want i can come down when i am in salt lake in a couple weeks and come hold tiny all day so you can get some sleep. . . and try to regain some sort of sanity.

it would make me the happiest girl to come hold that baby all day!

brock and i are thinking about you guys and miss you lots.


Bailey Family said...

Oh Jill! Loved the post, good times! Isn't being a mom the best? Thanks for the good laugh even though I am sure at the time you werent laughing. You can tell how much you love your kiddos though and they also know how their mom would do anything for them. Hang in there with the 3 kiddos, I am looking forward to my adventures with 2 :)

Kehl Family said...

Oh missy sounds like quite the day, but I got quite the laugh while reading your post! I can't wait to see you Sat and I am soooo excited to meet tiny for the first time.

Elise said...


Kimberlee said...

I'm in love with this post. So sorry about you terrible horrible no good very bad day. Do you think mom's have days like this in Australia?! :)

Nick Paige & Josh said...

sorry about your no good rotten day.
those kiddos are super duper cute though!
now you listen.
are you listening?
you text me next time.
poop doesn't bother me at all. ;)

Chanda said...

laughing. out loud.

hang tough...and tell Marc to clear his schedule...all hands on deck at this point ;-)

Ro said...

Oh my goodness. Looking back about 37 years ago, had some of the same experiences. Marc was about two and ran away from home. Just around the block. I remember when Dan and his little friend about 4 years old when shopping at the Cottonwood Mall. We lived only about 10 blocks away. How they found their way - don't know. I found them when I saw the friends black dog waiting outside the mall. When I went in they both had their arms full of toys. Only a couple of my fun raising kids.

Hang in there, more adventures to come.


tharker said...

I had to laugh. Not at you, but COMPLETELY with you, because I can relate so very well.

After I had my 4th baby (6 years after our 3rd) I swear, chaos reigned for a good 3 months. Part of it was just me re-adjusting to having a baby again (who knew you could actually forget how to change a newborn's diaper?) the other (and more naughty factor) was simply my kids taking full advantage of the fact that mom was more preoccupied than normal ;)

It will get better though. Life will feel normal again...someday ;)

Roberts Fam said...

I feel your pain...Love your post!

These Are The Days said...

Hilarious and so relatable! I'm with Chanda...all hands on deck. Good luck my friend, all you can do is take one hour at a time. Before you know it you'll be getting 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep then 5 then 6. You'll make it. :)

Gisela said...

"Can moms have tantrums?" you ask. I'm having one FOR you over here!

...but I'm also laughing with you (not at you — I promise) because every mom has days like that. And because I knoooooow, with the benefit of hindsight now that I have teenagers, that you'll miss them. You will miss the poop and bubbles and pee and tantrum days. Enjoy them. Really! Relish them even. They zoom by. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo