a snapshot.

i can now say i have something in common with all those wackadoo middle-east dictators.

i've been ousted from power by rebels.

tiny boob-munching, mess-making, laundry-generating rebels.

i am outnumbered three-to-one.

well, there is that one husband person i'm married to who occasionally makes an appearance

you know to eat, shower and sleep.

ahhhh....sleep. what would that be like?

but i digress.

it's pretty much me against them.

and unlike charlie sheen, i'm not winning.

yesterday, i had to take tiny to her two week checkup and naturally the mere thought

of going anywhere with three crazy midgets in tow is enough to make my heart race.

thankfully, a couple of quick text messages and i managed to pawn off the older two.

{thank you steph and michelle}

the rest of my day is a bit fuzzy.

there was the part where tiny is down to 5 lbs. 15 oz. which, clearly, is not ideal.

and the part where i picked up thing two and he was wearing 

his friends' dinosaur underwear and blue shorts.

his mother handed me an albertson's grocery bag with his pee-soaked shorts and underwear.

awesome.

hold on, it gets way better.

thing two put on his rubber rain boots {it wasn't raining} and bike helmet to compliment his already hodge-podge outfit and rode around the neighborhood on his bike, completely unattended.

then he painted on thing one's rainbow masterpiece which caused a major uproar.

then it was dinner time.

yeah right.

enter me opening the freezer and hoping there is something edible to feed my family.

still no husband, mind you.

found some frozen chicken noodle soup...jackpot!

{thank you suzanne for making us an extra large batch}

fed kids.

fed tiny {ouch}.

took a lortab.

fed myself.

put stinky kids in jetted tub with bubbles and left the room.

big mistake.

huge.

thirty minutes later i hear thing two crying and saying, 

"i slipped"

i come in holding a very mad tiny, attempting to keep her binky in her mouth with one hand

and discover bubbles about two feet higher than the top of the tub and 

thing two covered in bubbles lying on the floor next to the toilet.

upon closer inspection, there is poop smeared all over the toilet seat and on his behind.

apparently, he slipped off the throne while taking care of business due to the excessive bubbles and moisture.

sigh.

i could stop here if you've had enough.

because heaven knows i have.

but there was still poop, bubbles, dishes, dirty clothes, backpacks, homework, unwashed hair and a crying infant that still needed attention.

can moms have tantrums?

i wanted to throw one right then and there and just let the three midgets fend for themselves.

but, i got myself into this mess by giving life to the little knuckle-heads, so i suppose that makes me responsible to make sure they stay alive.

anywho...

somehow, everyone made it to bed in one piece.

and i got a super restful three hours of sleep...

so, that pretty much covers it.

a snapshot of my life at the moment.

and the craziest part is, i wouldn't change a thing.

i love those three midgets...

poop, rain boots, bubbles and all.

but, if you think for one second i wouldn't hire a nanny and a personal chef if given the opportunity...

you got another thing coming!