i try.

every morning before i get in the shower, 

i take all the obvious precautions to ensure my child's safety 

while i'm momentarily preoccupied. 

stuff like locking all the doors to prevent unwanted escapes, 

making sure all writing and cutting utensils are well out of reach 

and that the door to his sister's room is closed 

{oh boy does she ever get mad when he gets into her stuff}.

basically, i try really hard to think like a two year old.

what would i like to get into today?

put popcorn kernels inside of the subwoofer?

throw rocks into the backyard water feature?

remove all the boxes of mac n cheese from the pantry

and use them to build a tower in the sandbox?

empty and suck on an entire roll of dental floss?

dig up my mother's beloved herb garden?

decorate my toy box with toothpaste?

nah, been there, done that...

booooring!

today, i'm after something new and exciting.

hmmm, what about mom's purse?

YES, that's it!

so, what do you think? 

is this my shade of lipstick?

oh, and i hope what they say about gum staying in your stomach 

for like seven years is a myth, because i ate seven pieces.

...